Do you have a funny story about sex going badly? I was approached by the production company behind the new show “Sex Sent Me to the ER,” who asked me to post this looking for people to share their stories. If you’re interested, check out the flyer and get in touch with them.
I haven’t been writing as much as usual due to grad school (and working full time and finishing the book!), but I wanted to take a minute to say something about this current “scandal” about the Duke University freshman who is also a porn star.
I think it’s great that she is so secure in herself and her sexuality to be able to do porn and to enjoy her experience. I also think it’s great that she’s given serious thought to her financial future and hasn’t saddled herself with more debt than she could expect to pay back in her lifetime. Far from being a victim and exploited, I think she’s doing the right thing with her life and I expect that she will go on to live a healthy and happy life.
I don’t know your name, young porn star, but good luck! At least this section of the blogosphere is rooting for you!
I don’t do a lot of book recommendation on here. But, sometimes a book is so good that I just need to comment on it. That book is Mindset by Carol Dweck. The basic premise is that there are two fundamental mindsets in life: the growth mindset and the fixed mindset. In the growth mindset, you believe that growth is possible, that if you apply yourself you can continually improve, no matter what the subject. In the fixed mindset, you are what you are and you can do your best, but your best is a fixed quantity that cannot be changed. This may not sound like an earth-shattering idea, but think about how it operates in your life. Do you think intelligence is a fixed quantity? The very idea of IQ was developed to measure changes in intelligence. Do you think your moral character is a fixed quantity? It’s not and the role of ethics is to help you in developing your character in the ways you want. I seriously recommend reading this book and applying the ideas to your life. I think you’ll be surprised, like I was, in how this very simple idea is having big impacts in your life.
You can support the show by making a donation via PayPal (see bar to the right) or Amazon Payment (or any other payment method you might want, just get in touch with us). You can also use Erosophia’s referral link to Amazon to buy things. You can sign up for Kasidie, the best lifestyle site on the web. Or you can tell your friends and spread the word about the podcast on Facebook and Twitter.
If you want to advertise on the Erosophia Podcast, please contact us at Jason(at)JasonStotts.com or on twitter via @ErosPod.
I’ve been thinking a lot about book covers recently, especially now that I have a draft of Eros and Ethos done. I was talking with someone about what a good cover might look like and decided I’d try to figure out what I would want in a book cover. So, I went to my bookshelf and emptied it into two piles: covers I liked and covers I didn’t. I then had way too many covers in the like pile, so I thinned it out more. I realized I still had way too many books, so I grouped what was left into three piles:
1. Good: I like the cover, but it has problems.
2. Better: I really like the cover.
3. Best: Covers that really do it for me
So, what follows is book covers I like and some reasons why. Please forgive my lack of appropriate aesthetic vocabulary. Oh, and if you click on the Amazon link and buy a book, you support my work.
An issue close to my heart is my ability to speak my mind freely on anything I want and to know that my first amendment right to do so protects me if someone doesn’t like what I have to say. Unfortunately, the law and technology are never in sync and there has been some confusion about what kinds of protections bloggers have for the things that we say.
I’m happy to announce, though, that this issue has been resolved in the right way. I’m not a lawyer, so read Popehat’s account of it here, where he says that:
The Ninth Circuit’s opinion protecting Cox’s free speech rights also protects your rights. The ruling means that if someone sues you for something you write or say, your First Amendment protections will not turn on whether a judge views you as a “professional journalist.” Rather, the same legal protections that have traditionally been applied to the New York Times will apply to you. That is a substantial comfort, particularly because many jurists are not familiar with things like blogs. The ruling also robustly protects your right to express how you feel, using vivid language, by maintaining that only provable statements of fact are defamatory, and hyperbole and rhetoric are not.
The whole context of the case is a very interesting read, but not entirely germane to the topic here. You can also find a summary on Reuters.
Basically, I’m just thrilled that blogs are protected speech and that I won’t need to worry about accidental defamation when I criticize different people for their silly behavior or beliefs.
As we go into Erosophia’s 9th year, let’s take a step back and see what we did in 2013.
Last year was a very busy year for me and Erosophia. Although Erosophia didn’t place in the top 100 Sex Blogs last year, there were still some really great things that happened and some really great articles.
Notable Things in 2013:
The most important thing that happened in 2013 was that I finished a draft of my book Eros and Ethos: A New Theory and Application of Sexual Ethics. The link provides more detail, but it’s hard to believe it’s finally done in draft. Now I just need to get an agent and publisher and get it published. In a couple of days I’ll have a complete third draft done and I think I’ll be ready to start shopping it around.
I also started grad school in September for a MA in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC). I’m doing the program at night, while working full time during the day, so free time has been rather limited. If you want to donate to help me go to grad school, I’d love your help!
The Erosophia Podcast is also taking off and has been getting a lot of listeners! It was even featured on the “What’s Hot” section of iTunes! You can find it on Facebook or on iTunes. You can find Erosophia’s Facebook page here.
Lastly, I’d like to invite you to support Erosophia. You can donate money via Paypal at the link on the right or by sending it to Jason(at)JasonStotts.com. You can also send an Amazon or Chase payment to the same address. If you want to send a check or money order, write me there and I’ll tell you how. I would also happily accept Amazon GC’s. If you can’t support us monetarily, please spread the word about Erosophia. If my writings have helped you in any way, write me and tell me about it. Getting those emails is like spiritual fuel and it helps me to keep going.
Sometimes not knowing is a morally permissible error of ignorance. Sometimes errors of ignorance are immoral. With so much information available about sex today, is your ignorance about sex moral or immoral?
There are good reasons and bad reasons to keep sex private; but, being completely “private” about sex to the point where you won’t talk to anyone about it can be immoral. Not only that, the world would be a better and more authentic place if we were all more open about sex and sexuality.
The Fountainhead’s “rape scene” is not, in context, a scene of rape at all. One might even say that Roark could have been given no clearer invitation. Further, i argue that we can understand what this kind of thing might look like in the real world through the idea of consensual non-consent.