Healthy Sexuality

by Jason Stotts

When I was younger, I would often hear the term “dirty mind” derisively used to describe someone who had erotic thoughts. Obviously, this is no more than a base attempt to denigrate sexuality and eroticism.

I, however, do not believe in disparaging natural aspects of humanity.

Proper sexuality is a sign of being a healthy human being. There are fundamentally two kinds of people in the world: the flourishing, whose lives are ascending to a zenith, and the decadent, whose lives are descending to a nadir. Sexuality can be indicative of a healthy life, flourishing, and a life well lived: a sign that one respects and loves oneself and has found another worthy of one’s love and devotion. Sexuality, on the contrary, can also be a way to attempt to deceive oneself and others: it can be a sign of decadence and a thinly veiled attempt to cover this fact by partaking in the sacred act. Sexuality, like all values, can be perverted and turned against life.

There are some goals, let us call them “apparent values”, that appear to be legitimate, but which are not. These are caused by the perversion or misidentification of a legitimate value. These supposed “values” are in fact detriments to their holder: while those who falsely value drugs destroy their minds and bodies, those who falsely value sex destroy their very humanity with its perversion. This punishment is not doled out by a fictitious celestial father-figure, but dealt by their very nature and reality itself. Life exacts a price for decadence. Those who falsely value that which harms their minds, lose their minds. Those who falsely value that which harms their bodies, lose their bodies. Those who falsely value that which is anti-life, get exactly what they asked for – death comes as a fulfillment of their wish for the anti-life.

Sexuality, in the true flourishing sense, is one of the most sacred of acts: it is an affirmation and celebration of oneself, one’s partner, and of existence. Sex, properly conceived, is an act of love. There is more to sex than just the physical act; it is fundamentally a spiritual act as well. Sex is more than just bestial copulating, more than just hedonic indulgence, more than a mere “wriggling of meat” – as it has so uncouthly been called. Sex is a celebration of the life that two people are sharing together and their mutual value to each other.

A healthy sex drive requires a true understanding of the nature of sexuality, self-esteem, pride, and the knowledge that your lover is a good person who will contribute to your flourishing. A “healthy sex drive” is precisely that – healthy. A healthy sexuality indicates that one is not only flourishing in life, but that one knows this and is purposely flourishing, rather than merely doing well in life by chance.

Let us conclude by asking: what kind of person could hate sex? To hate sex is to hate one’s humanity: sex is integral to being human. To hate sex is to be fundamentally mistaken about sex: one cannot hate the good. To hate sex is to hate life: it is unbridled decadence. Thus, the only kind of person who could hate sex is the kind of person who hates life.

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