An Explanation for Open Relationships

by Jason Stotts

I found this while researching open relationships and I think it’s a really interesting and honest answer to a quite complicated question.  Most people would have simply responded “I don’t know, I just find it sexy” or something similar, but this man took the time to try and explain his reasons for it.  Take a look.


Why do you find it hot/sexy when your girl is with other men? I wouldn’t know how to get past something like that.

Actually, getting past it is exactly what it took. Before we started this, the image of her with another guy inside her sickened me. Same jealousy everyone else feels. But when we made the decision to open things up, and remove the concern of ever cheating on each other, I had a decision to make. I could either be full of stomach-churning jealousy every time she did what we agreed we could do, or I could work through it.

The first time was actually at my urging. I decided that since she had the opportunity, she should take it. And if I told her to do so, I had only myself to blame, and couldn’t be pissed off with her. She did it, and I survived. I can’t say I didn’t have my little issues with it, but we acted out everything she had done when she got home so I had no feeling that I was somehow missing out, and in the process it was a turn-on to realize what had happened, and to realize the story she was telling was reality.

Over time it just grew from that. I still felt some level of anxiety each time for a while, but it quickly became more like a nervous excitement instead of something negative. And the times she did it at home and I got to listen in, or even sneak looks, I found myself nearly shaking from the adrenaline rush of it. Plus there was often something new to try, since she was experiencing the interests and skills of new people, and challenges for me to rise to. I did a lot of things I never expected to do, and was driven to levels of excitement I’d never before anticipated.

Honestly, a lot of that’s worn off now, and it’s a bit more commonplace. But it’s still fun to hear about the new things she’s done, and I get a visceral thrill out of fucking her after she’s just been fucked by someone else. Knowing I’m going where another guy just went, taking it back. There’s just something really raw and exciting about that. Sometimes I can see or feel the difference, with her lips looking really disheveled or she’s swollen from an extra hard fucking, or loosened up from a really big guy. I like being able to tell she was just fucked. Of course it really helps when it’s someone she trusts to go bareback and they leave behind a full load. Talk about looking and feeling different.

But in a nutshell, I can’t say in any simple easy way why I get off on it. Maybe it’s just one of those things that when you embrace it and force yourself to deal with it, you find a way to enjoy it. Just like a person can learn to get off on being whipped, or all sorts of other things that they’d never believe they could enjoy, it’s possible that any guy who forced himself through it could eventually find sexual pleasure in the concept. Or maybe I’m just a freak. Either way, it gets me off, and that’s all I care about.

(from Clove Hardwood)

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