Letter from a Reader

by Jason Stotts

I rarely get comments on my blog.  Even more rarely do I get letters from readers.  Thus, sometimes I feel like I’m writing Erosophia for myself, like I have no readers.  Not that I actually believe it, since I know that I actually have thousands, but that I get burnt out on writing with no response.  Sometimes I feel like I’m shouting in the dark.  However, sometimes I get a letter that helps make it all worth it, like the letter below.  This kind of letter is spiritual fuel for a writer, a reminder that ideas can have powerful effects and can change the lives of those who read them.



I wanted to thank you for your blog. By reading your blog, particularly the posts on pegging and swinging, I believe you have helped heal my marriage. I am not fully certain why I want to share this whole story with you, but I do. Perhaps so you will understand my sincerity or perhaps so you will understand how important I think your work is? I’m not sure, but I’d like to explain.

[Story about childhood sexual abuse omitted to preserve the author’s privacy.]

We took a trip to the sex toy store and purchased a strap on kit and an Aneros. That night was perhaps the first time in his life that my husband, Rick, really enjoyed sex.  He was finally just free to enjoy sex with someone he loves who loves him back. It was truly an amazing experience for both of us.

Two weeks ago, when I read your posts on swinging, I decided to ask Rick about it. Last weekend, we went to a swinger’s club for the first time. Oh boy! Was that fun! Everything that couple said in your swinger interviews [An Interview with Swingers] was so true. We feel even more intimate with each other now than ever before! The level of pleasure, honesty, and sincerity from our sexual encounters with each other is so intense and amazing. There are many other positives to come from this, but I won’t go on forever. lol!

The past 8 months or so have not been all wine and roses, but with the help of a great therapist and your website, we’ve been able to turn things around in an amazing way, so thank you, thank you, thank you! Had it not been for your reasoned, principled approach to things considered taboo in America, we may still be stuck in the dark and possibly headed for a divorce. Rick is more relaxed, open and intimate with me, and for that, I am forever grateful! (And I’ve learned tons and been having a great time myself!)



I’ve been in communication with Beth and Rick and they’ve graciously agreed to do an interview about what it’s like to be new to the lifestyle and how their lives are changing.  Expect to see it appear here on Erosophia shortly.  If you have any questions for them, leave a comment below and I’ll try to incorporate your questions into the interview.

I want to really thank Beth and Rick for writing.  It really does make quite a difference to a writer to know his words are having an effect on the world.

6 Responses to “Letter from a Reader”

  1. Aaron

    I’m glad you’ve gotten such encouraging feedback. Looking forward to the interview. I don’t have any new questions, but generally would like to see the same ones I and others asked for your first couple also asked here.

  2. JasonStotts


    I plan on asking most of the same questions. However, the other couple had been in the lifestyle for several years whereas Beth and Rick have only just begun with the lifestyle, so the questions will reflect the different places they are in the lifestyle. I think it’s going to be a good interview!


  3. Miranda

    It is great to find you have helped people with your blog.

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