Archive for June, 2013

Erosophia Podcast #10: Swinging


In this episode of the Erosophia Podcast, Jason, William, and Joia talk about swinging.


I’m in an open relationship, but I’m not at all out. I’m really attracted to a girl in a presumably monogamous relationship. The feelings are decidedly mutual, and we’ve been flirting an increasing amount over the past year.

She worries that my wife will be jealous, because she doesn’t know that I have permission to go as far as I want. How do I assuage her fears without having a potentially off-putting discussion about open relationships? I’m not going to have sex with her while she is in another relationship, so there isn’t really a “next level” to take things.

-Struggling to communicate in Denver

If you want to ask a question, contact us at [email protected], on twitter via @ErosPod, on this page here on Erosophia, or via our Facebook page.

Sex Tips

Communicate openly and honestly.

Sponsor: Kasidie Plays Well With Others.

Fun with Words

Today’s word is: Masturbation.

Masturbation: (n.) manual stimulation of the genitals.  1766, in A. Hume’s Onanism; borrowed from French masturbation (1570 in Montaigne) and probably derived from New Latin masturbationem (nominative mastubatio), from Latin masturbari, alteration, probably by influence of turbare (to stir up), of earlier *man-stuprare (manus hand + stupare defile), which would reinforce the connection of a form with the earlier form in English masturpration, 1621, in Burton’s Anatomy of Melancholy. (Reference: Chambers Dictionary of Etymology, 1988)

From Wikipedia:

Male masturbation was an even more important image in ancient Egypt: when performed by a god it could be considered a creative or magical act: the god Atum was believed to have created the universe by masturbating to ejaculation, and the ebb and flow of the Nile was attributed to the frequency of his ejaculations. Egyptian Pharaohs, in response to this, were at one time required to masturbate ceremonially into the Nile.

The ancient Greeks regarded masturbation as a normal and healthy substitute for other forms of sexual pleasure. They considered it a safety valve against destructive sexual frustration. The Greeks also dealt with female masturbation in both their art and writings. One common term used for it was anaphlan, which roughly translates as “up-fire”.

Diogenes, speaking in jest, credited the god Hermes with its invention: he allegedly took pity on his son Pan, who was pining for Echo but unable to seduce her, and taught him the trick of masturbation in order to relieve his suffering. Pan in his turn taught the habit to young shepherds.

Tonight’s Topic: Swinging

Summary: Swinging can be a real value in your life, but there are dangers too.  There are lots of ways to approach swinging and some are going to be better fits for a couple than others.

Subscribe to the Podcast

You can subscribe via iTunes or RSS.

Support the Podcast

You can support the show by making a donation via PayPal (see bar to the right) or Amazon Payment (or any other payment method you might want, just get in touch with us).  You can also use Erosophia’s referral link to Amazon to buy things.  You can sign up for Kasidie, the best lifestyle site on the web.  Or you can tell your friends and spread the word about the podcast on Facebook and Twitter.

If you want to advertise on the Erosophia Podcast, please contact us at [email protected] or on twitter via @ErosPod.

Essays referencedOn Polysexuality

Books Referenced: Betty Dodson’s Sex for One, Terry Gould’s The Lifestyle

The Fountainhead’s ‘Rape Scene’: a Case Study of Consensual Non-Consent

by Jason Stotts

Overview: The Fountainhead’s “rape scene” is not, in context, a scene of rape at all.  One might even say that Roark could have been given no clearer invitation.  Moreover, we can understand what this kind of thing might look like in the real world through the idea of consensual non-consent.

This essay contains spoilers about The Fountainhead.  Moreover, it cannot be understood without the context of the novel.  It is highly recommended that you read the book before this essay.

The Fountainhead is the story of Howard Roark and his drive for architectural integrity to be able to create buildings the way he thinks they should be and not simply as a testament to those who have come before him.  In this process, he meets Dominique, who is his ideal woman, except that she erroneously believes that the good cannot succeed in the world as it is.  He has an early affair with her and then leaves, only to reconnect with her later and start a relationship.  He cannot have her until she overcomes her malevolent sense of life and he is ultimately forced to let her go to play out a grand drama with several marriages on her part, as well as her and Toohey attempting to destroy Roark’s career.  Ultimately, Roark is successful and Dominique sees the error of her earlier beliefs, allowing them to happily be together. Continue reading ‘The Fountainhead’s ‘Rape Scene’: a Case Study of Consensual Non-Consent’

RIP: Exodus International

by Jason Stotts

I never thought I’d see the day when a christian group as ignorant and bigoted as Exodus International would close its doors.  But, happily, today is that day:

The leader of a large Christian ministry that claims to offer a “cure” for homosexuality apologized to the LGBT community and announced on Wednesday that the organization is shutting down.

Alan Chambers, president of Exodus International, announced the decision on the group’s website and issued a formal apology, saying he was “profoundly sorry” for the pain some within the organization caused.

The group was founded in 1976 and now has more than 200 branches, churches and counselors, according to NBC News. Those within the group claimed people could overcome homosexuality through prayer and therapy.

But psychiatric and medical groups have said that the movement, also known as reparative therapy, is unfounded in science and can be harmful, NBC reported. The American Psychiatric Association said 15 years ago that the therapy could cause depression, anxiety and self-depressive behavior in patients. (US News)

Ideas have consequences and bad ideas like christianity ruin lives, while good ideas make the world better.  It’s this kind of thing that should be motivation for us to continue the good fight and to realize that real change is possible in our lifetimes if we work hard enough.

News and Interesting Links

by Jason Stotts

1. Can Women Orgasm During Childbirth?

A new study has found it’s entirely possible for a woman to scream out in climactic pleasure as her baby makes its way through the birth canal. The study, conducted by French psychologist Thierry Postel and published in the journal Sexologies, is one of the first to attempt to nail down numbers when it comes to women experiencing intense pleasure during birth.

2. Warrior Princess’ book details life of Navy SEAL who came out as transgender woman Kristin Beck

Chris Beck played high school football.[…] He grew up to become a U.S. Navy SEAL, serving our country for twenty years. […]To everyone who saw him, he was a hero. A warrior. A man.

But underneath his burly beard, Chris had a secret, one that had been buried deep inside his heart since he was a little boy—one as hidden as the panty hose in the back of his drawer. He was transgender, and the woman inside needed to get out. (Amazon Link)

3. I’m Not Easy. I’m Selectively Convenient

One of the things that often surprises people is the fact that being queer, kinky, and poly doesn’t have to mean that someone is promiscuous.

4. American’s Views on Sexual Morality are Changing

Gallup recently conducted their annual Values and Beliefs survey and discovered that Americans’ views on sexual morality have shifted significantly in the last dozen years, with particularly notable changes in the perceived acceptability of homosexuality, sex before marriage, and having children outside of marriage. At the same time, however, attitudes toward issues such as abortion and pornography have remained largely the same. Check out the table below for details on the specific changes in moral attitudes that have taken place since 2001.

5. Interview with a Porn Star: Lorelei Lee on sex, gender, and “Public Sex, Private Lives.”

If there’s a stigma around sex workers, it’s that we have placed them in a box of our own moral judgments, without really knowing anything about them.

What to make, then, of Lorelei Lee, who’s fluent in four languages, holds an MFA from NYU, writes poetry and screenplays, and references William Carlos Williams in her blog? Since emerging from the dungeons (literally) more than a decade ago, she’s become not only a featured performer and director, but a poster child for the sex-positive aspects of the porn industry: she’s smart, literate, and firmly empowered by her choice to be a professional “pain slut.”









Erosophia Podcast #9: Polyamory



1. Boyscouts – It’s okay if you’re gay, as long as you’re under 18

Sponsor: Kasidie Plays Well With Others.


Question 1:

Hi Jason!

I recently had an experience with a different kind of fetish I have never heard of before. This man was turned on by the thought of impregnating women. He would say things during foreplay like: “I want to have babies with you” and “Let’s make a baby” despite that it was a very new relationship. Thoughts?

Question 2:

I listened to the Bisexuality podcast and was wondering if you could you address the concept of being DL (down low) in men. This is when men have a wife, family, etc. but are secretly having gay/same-sex sexual behavior in secret. Do you think most of those men are actually homosexual and trying to hide it and remain closeted, or do you think they are mostly bisexual?

Fun with Words

Candaulism is the enjoyment of sexually exposing one’s female partner to the view of others.  The name is a reference to King Candaules from Herodotus’s tale of Gyges (which is substantially different from Plato’s account of the myth of Gyges).  In the myth, the king surreptitiously reveals his wife to one of his ministers. The sexual practice, then, is when one partner gains pleasure by showing off his partner, whether in person or imagery, to others, whether with the consent of his or her partner or not.


Sex Tips

Mutual masturbation.

Tonight’s Topic: Polyamory

Summary: Polyamory is having multiple loving and sexual relationships and can be a real value in life that can help you live with integrity and be who you really are, instead of denying your nature and trying to force yourself into culturally approved patterns of relationships.


– Robin Baker’s Sperm Wars

– Dossie Easton The Ethical Slut

– Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha Sex at Dawn

– Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up

– “On Polysexuality (Revised)

History of Diana’s podcast:

1. Peikoff’s podcast (Aug. 10)

2. My “Contra Peikoff on Swinging” (Aug. 10)

3. On Poylsexuality (Oct. 10)

4. Diana’s “Polyamory vs. Monogamy” (Dec. 10)

– Private correspondence between Diana and I

5. On Polysexuality Revised (Apr. 13)

6. PIA “Question 1: The Ethics of Open Relationships”  (May 13)

Subscribe to the Podcast

You can subscribe via iTunes or RSS.

Support the Podcast

You can support the show by making a donation via PayPal (see bar to the right) or Amazon Payment (or any other payment method you might want, just get in touch with us).  You can also use Erosophia’s referral link to Amazon to buy things.  You can sign up for Kasidie, the best lifestyle site on the web.  Or you can tell your friends and spread the word about the podcast.

If you want to advertise on the Erosophia Podcast, please contact us at [email protected] or on twitter via @ErosPod.

The Corruption of The Obama Administration

by Jason Stotts

It should be clear to my readers that I have no love for our current president (nor for our last one, for that matter).  I talked about some of my problems in “Obama and the Path to Tyranny” and now even more more people are fed up with the administration.

Buzzfeed has an amazing quiz that challenges you to decide whether what you’re reading is from George Orwell’s 1984 or from Obama. Sadly, it’s hard to tell anymore!

This is partly in response to new information that not only is Obama doing all of the terrible things he has been (see “Obama and the Path to Tyranny“), he’s also completely violated the rights of citizens by seizing the phone records of Verizon customers, even those who have not been suspected of any crimes. See the Washington Post story U.S. intelligence mining data from nine U.S. Internet companies in broad secret program.

Even the very liberal New York Times has now come out against Obama:

Within hours of the disclosure that the federal authorities routinely collect data on phone calls Americans make, regardless of whether they have any bearing on a counterterrorism investigation, the Obama administration issued the same platitude it has offered every time President Obama has been caught overreaching in the use of his powers: Terrorists are a real menace and you should just trust us to deal with them because we have internal mechanisms (that we are not going to tell you about) to make sure we do not violate your rights.

Those reassurances have never been persuasive — whether on secret warrants to scoop up a news agency’s phone records or secret orders to kill an American suspected of terrorism — especially coming from a president who once promised transparency and accountability.

The administration has now lost all credibility on this issue. Mr. Obama is proving the truism that the executive will use any power it is given and very likely abuse it. That is one reason we have long argued that the Patriot Act, enacted in the heat of fear after the 9/11 attacks by members of Congress who mostly had not even read it, was reckless in its assignment of unnecessary and overbroad surveillance powers.

The New York Times is right, this administration has now lost all credibility, not just on this issue, but across the board.  No president has had this many serious concurrent scandals and who knows how many more are yet to come to light.

Let us be clear: this administration is corrupt and is actively violating the rights of its citizens.  We, the people, need to take a stand and say that the government has transgressed its bounds and must be restrained.  We can’t leave it to our politicians, I think we have seen that both the Republicans and the Democrats are perfectly willing to violate rights in order to meet their political agendas.  We need to start by impeaching Obama and working to restore our system of constitutionally limited government that works for the people, not against us.

Interesting Articles

by Jason Stotts

All three of these articles are worth reading.  They’re each very interesting in different ways.

1. What Science Says About Arousal During Rape

Arousal and orgasm during rape happen. Probably much more often than we know. It is not a sign of guilt or pleasure. It in no way indicates consent. It is a sign that our bodies react, just as they do with a rapid heartbeat or an adrenaline rush. We react.

2. Survivorship Bias

When failure becomes invisible, the difference between failure and success may also become invisible.

3. Futuo! How the Romans Swore

The Romans’ mouths were incredibly dirty, and many of their taboos were ones Westerners still hold today.