In this episode of the Erosophia Podcast, Jason, William, and Joia talk about swinging.
I’m in an open relationship, but I’m not at all out. I’m really attracted to a girl in a presumably monogamous relationship. The feelings are decidedly mutual, and we’ve been flirting an increasing amount over the past year.
She worries that my wife will be jealous, because she doesn’t know that I have permission to go as far as I want. How do I assuage her fears without having a potentially off-putting discussion about open relationships? I’m not going to have sex with her while she is in another relationship, so there isn’t really a “next level” to take things.
-Struggling to communicate in Denver
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Communicate openly and honestly.
Fun with Words
Today’s word is: Masturbation.
Masturbation: (n.) manual stimulation of the genitals. 1766, in A. Hume’s Onanism; borrowed from French masturbation (1570 in Montaigne) and probably derived from New Latin masturbationem (nominative mastubatio), from Latin masturbari, alteration, probably by influence of turbare (to stir up), of earlier *man-stuprare (manus hand + stupare defile), which would reinforce the connection of a form with the earlier form in English masturpration, 1621, in Burton’s Anatomy of Melancholy. (Reference: Chambers Dictionary of Etymology, 1988)
Male masturbation was an even more important image in ancient Egypt: when performed by a god it could be considered a creative or magical act: the god Atum was believed to have created the universe by masturbating to ejaculation, and the ebb and flow of the Nile was attributed to the frequency of his ejaculations. Egyptian Pharaohs, in response to this, were at one time required to masturbate ceremonially into the Nile.
The ancient Greeks regarded masturbation as a normal and healthy substitute for other forms of sexual pleasure. They considered it a safety valve against destructive sexual frustration. The Greeks also dealt with female masturbation in both their art and writings. One common term used for it was anaphlan, which roughly translates as “up-fire”.
Diogenes, speaking in jest, credited the god Hermes with its invention: he allegedly took pity on his son Pan, who was pining for Echo but unable to seduce her, and taught him the trick of masturbation in order to relieve his suffering. Pan in his turn taught the habit to young shepherds.
Tonight’s Topic: Swinging
Summary: Swinging can be a real value in your life, but there are dangers too. There are lots of ways to approach swinging and some are going to be better fits for a couple than others.
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Essays referenced: On Polysexuality