Archive for May, 2015

Children and Sexuality

by Jason Stotts

We’ve talked about children and sexuality several times on the podcast (episodes #23, #24, & #25). What we haven’t talked much about is better options for educating children about sexuality. Luckily, PBS (of all places) just recently published a really good article called “The Case for Starting Sex Education in Kindergarten.” In it, they show some very good alternatives to our nonsensical ignorance-only education (“abstinence education”). I recommend taking a minute and reading the article, it’s worth it.

You’ll never hear an explicit reference to sex in a kindergarten class.In fact, the term for what’s being taught here is sexuality education rather than sex education. That’s because the goal is bigger than that, says Ineke van der Vlugt, an expert on youth sexual development for Rutgers WPF, the Dutch sexuality research institute behind the curriculum. It’s about having open, honest conversations about love and relationships.

By law, all primary school students in the Netherlands must receive some form of sexuality education. The system allows for flexibility in how it’s taught. But it must address certain core principles — among them, sexual diversity and sexual assertiveness. That means encouraging respect for all sexual preferences and helping students develop skills to protect against sexual coercion, intimidation and abuse. The underlying principle is straightforward: Sexual development is a normal process that all young people experience, and they have the right to frank, trustworthy information on the subject.

“There were societal concerns that sexualization in the media could be having a negative impact on kids,” van der Vlugt said. “We wanted to show that sexuality also has to do with respect, intimacy, and safety.” (LINK)

Happy 10th Birthday Erosophia!

by Jason Stotts


I really can’t believe that it’s been 10 years since I started blogging!

Blogging is interesting.  I never set out to be a blogger.  In fact, I only started writing a blog on a lark.  Then, I just sort of kept writing and at some point things got interesting.  Somewhere along the line people started reading and then I accidentally became popular. I still have no idea how. I’m glad it happened though.

Anyway, I’m happy to announce that we’re half done editing Eros and Ethos and we’re optimistically shooting to release in Q4 of this year, probably December. Editing is going a little slower than I would like, but the book is definitely benefitting from it and it’s much better now than it was before we started.

I also want to announce that I’ve started writing a second book, tentatively titled The Wizard’s Tower. This book, unlike Eros and Ethos, will be fiction. It’s a fantasy book set in a land where wizards rule. It revolves around a new High Wizard and the choices he must make as a ruler who never had any aspirations to rule.  It’s already a third of the way written and we’re starting work on the cover. Joseph Pearson is helping me with this project as well (if you need design work, check him out). Here’s a really tentative cover he mocked up for it:


I hope to have The Wizard’s Tower published in the next two years.

One other announcement: the Erosophia Podcast is going to start recording again! We got a little behind there, but we’re back on the ball now and we’re starting to record again next week.

If you’ve enjoyed Erosophia these last 10 years, please consider sending me some love.

You can donate via PayPal:

You can buy me a birthday present from my Amazon Wishlist

You can email me and tell me that my work has had some impact in your life: Jason(at) (I could really use this one right now).

Or, you can like Erosophia’s Facebook page:

Finally, I want to thank all of you, my readers and listeners, for a great decade and I look forward to many more years to come.

Mature Love

by Jason Stotts

I saw this series of illustrations earlier and I think it makes a very powerful point: mature love isn’t desperate, mature love is creating a life together through little moments and many choices.

While in our culture we are very entrenched in the paradigm of desperate longing (a la Romeo and Juliet), this is what immature or new love looks like. However, if we come to believe that all love looks like this, we may miss out or deprecate mature love for its constancy and commitment. But mature love is creating a life together and this isn’t, or shouldn’t, involve the desperateness of a new love that is still trying to forge itself.