Archive Page 2

Tea and Consent

by Jason Stotts

Consent can be a tricky subject to understand, but this video gets it precisely right.

(Except the part about putting milk in tea.)

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2015 Retrospective

by Jason Stotts

Usually, in early January, I do a big “Best of” the year post that highlights my best essays from the year. This year, however, there weren’t many essays on Erosophia. Nevertheless, it’s been a really big year for me! (Older best of’s: 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009)

First, Erosophia turned 10  this year! I’ve been blogging for ten and a half years now. It’s funny, because I started blogging on a lark. At some point I started to really enjoy it and people kept reading it, so it’s just worked out that I’m still doing it.

Second, I graduated with my Master’s in Clinical Psychology in 2015 and started work as a MFT Intern specializing in sex therapy in Palm Springs (more details here).

Third, I started my first full-length fiction book “The Wizard’s Tower”. It’s about half done now and I hope to release it in the next year or two. As I get closer to releasing it, I’ll give out more details about the book and maybe even put up the first chapter here on Erosophia.

Finally, 2015 was a huge year for Eros and Ethos: A New Theory and Practice of Sexual Ethics, my forthcoming book on sexual ethics. I started writing it in January of 2008, so I’ve been at it 8 years now! I finished the complete first draft of E&E in 2014 and spent 2015 working on revising it and making it into a much better book. I’m about halfway through the third draft now and then there will only be one last quick copy-editing draft. I’m expecting to complete it and offer it for sale this year (hopefully!!!).

As we get a little closer, we’ll be setting up a website for the book launch at (it’s not live yet). We’ll also announce a firmer publication date and set up a pre-order system. I’m also planning on doing a limited print of 50 or 100 books that are numbered and signed. They will be available through the Eros and Ethos website. The print version will follow the digital by a couple of weeks.

There is, however, one potential problem. Eros and Ethos is long. The present word count is a little over 170,000 words, which makes Eros and Ethos 20,000 words longer than both Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets combined. Depending on the words per page calculation, publishing it as a single volume will be between 680 pages (at 250 wpp, which is what Amazon recommends), to 566 pages (at 300 wpp, which is average nonfiction), to 378 pages (at 450 wpp, which is pretty small print on large pages). Given that most nonfiction books clock in around 200-250 pages (at between 300wpp and 450wpp), this is a problem as it might disincline readers, who will think it’s simply too long to read.

So, one option I’ve been kicking around is separating Part 1 from Part 2 and publishing them separately as Volume 1 and Volume 2. This would yield two regular sized books. The problem is that both ways have pros and cons, which I’ve tried to list below (you’re welcome to add to the lists in the comments).

Publishing Together


– The reader can start with either the theory or the applications

– One unified volume

– Won’t have to separate out references to missing parts

– Won’t have to edit to disentangle Part 1 and Part 2

– Won’t need new covers


– Less $, since selling 1 books vs. 2

– Longer time to completely publish (need to wait between volumes)

– Too long of a book might discourage readers (some people may never read who might have read a shorter book)

– Fewer published books (author’s vanity)

Publishing Separately


– Publish 1st book sooner (less time to edit it all)

– More overall $

– Shorter books, easier to read and more likely people will read

– More total books published

– Build reputation for subsequent releases (maybe)


– Will need new covers

– Potential continuity issues

– Only get 1 shot to impress readers and people might prefer theory to applications or vice versa (This is my biggest worry)

What do you think of the publishing issue? Realistically, I think that it’s full of good and interesting stuff and everything that’s in it is in it for a reason.

Either way, 2015 was a great year for me and I’m hoping that 2016 will be even better and see the publication of Eros and Ethos.

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“None of That”

by Jason Stotts

Take a look at this very well-done little video. I think it perfectly captures the religious inclination to destroy all that glorifies man in order to appease their resentiment and hatred of human life.

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News and Assorted Articles

by Jason Stotts

1. FDA Overturns 30-year Ban on Blood Donations by Gay Men

Well, sort of…

Yesterday, the FDA decided that gay men (or any men who have sex with men) are allowed to donate blood IF they have not had sex with a man in the last 12 months. I guess this is a step in the right direction, but given that tests can screen out any sort of STI’s (which not only men who have sex with men have, obviously), this is still a pretty thin attack on men who have sex with men.

2. Breasts No Longer Considered ‘Nude’, says AGLC

In Alberta Canada, the Alberta Gaming and Liquor Commission (AGLC)  has ruled that breasts are no longer considered “nude”. Interesting.

3. Playboy’s Science Fiction

Did you know that Playboy magazine has a long history with the science fiction genre? Neither did I. This is a really interesting look at it.

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Coffee House Chronicles: Episode 5

by Jason Stotts

I’ve posted about it before, but some of my friends are doing a web-series about the realities of gay dating today. This episode touches on pegging, which as you know I’ve written about before at length (On Pegging & On Pegging 2). I have it on good authority that I may even have had an influence on this particular episode. Anyway, check out the episode and, if you’re interested, my essays on the subject.

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Update on Eros and Ethos

by Jason Stotts


I’m writing with an update on my forthcoming book Eros and Ethos: A New Theory and Practice of Sexual Ethics. Eros and Ethos is completely written and is in editing now. I’m making great progress with my editors and we hope to have everything ready for publication in the Spring. As we get a little closer, we’ll be setting up a website for the book launch at (it’s not live yet). We’ll also announce a firmer publication date and set up a pre-order system.

I’m also planning on doing a limited print of 50 or 100 books that are numbered and signed. They will be available through the Eros and Ethos website. The print version will follow the digital by a couple of weeks. The only way to get one of the limited edition numbered and signed copies will be to get one early. After the initial batch, they’ll be gone forever.

I’m really excited that things are moving so well along! I really can’t wait to share it with you all.

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[Fiction] Shift

by Jason Stotts

Note: This is a (probably short) story I started writing to see where it would go. If it sounds interesting, let me know and maybe I’ll finish it.


Delta Airlines Flight 8432 to Toronto, departing at 5:15, will begin boarding momentarily. Please verify your ticket and group assignments…

“I can’t believe we’re finally going!” She looked up at him with her big green eyes. She looked so out of place in her heavy coat in sweater in LAX, but he knew they’d need them as soon as they got off the plane in Toronto. “We haven’t seen my parents in two years now!”

“Yeah, we really should have made the effort and braved the holiday travel last year.” He looked around at all of the people already lining up to get on the plane and those rushing past him down the terminal to other flights. “If only they didn’t live in a foreign country, eh?”

She smiled and hit him in the arm.

“I thought Canadians were always nice!” he protested.

“Only when we’ve had our dose of maple syrup. Once it runs out, we’re downright deadly.” Ever since they met in college, it had been their running joke that she was from a distant land and was merely with him to stay in a civilized country.

“Ugh, I knew we forgot something! I’ll run over to the giftstore…” She cut him off.

“We’re about to board. Why don’t you run your happy ass to the bathroom so you don’t have to get up so many times on the flight.”

He got up and flopped his bag into the chair. “Okay, watch my stuff. I’ll be right back.” She blew him a big dramatic kiss and turned back to her phone. He looked around, spotted the bathrooms across the way, and headed over to them. On his way over, he noticed some sort of commotion with the TSA and police by one of the gates. He hoped it wouldn’t affect their flight and that they’d be able to leave on time. The last thing he wanted to spend the night in LAX, of all places.

There was a steady stream of men coming out of the bathroom as he made his way in. He felt a little out of place in his long pants and fleece when everyone else was wearing summery clothes. As he rounded the corner into the bathroom, he noticed a strange man was just standing in the middle of the bathroom looking confused. No one seemed to be paying any attention to him and one man seemed to almost…he must have just walked behind him, he decided. It must have been a trick of the light or something that made it looked like he had walked through him.

“Are you okay, buddy?” He said, approaching the strange man.

The man opened his mouth and it looked like he was talking, but no sound was coming up.

“I’m sorry, I can’t read lips. I know a couple of signs from ASL, if it helps.” He made the sign for help and raised his eyebrows. The man grew agitated and started gesturing wildly. His lips kept moving, but no sounds came out.

“What’s with that guy talking to himself?” he heard one man say to another as they were walking out. He looked around and realized it had to be him they were talking about, but he wasn’t talking to himself, he was talking to the weirdo who wouldn’t talk back to him. That’s when he noticed that he was alone in the mirror. There was just the stall doors and him staring back at himself with a dumbfounded look. He whipped his head around and, sure enough, the man was still there.

“What the hell??” He started, but the man, having grown increasingly agitated, pushed him. He fell backwards, catching himself on the sinks behind him.

“I can’t fucking believe no one can see me and now this asshole can’t even hear me.”

“What?” He realized he could hear the man now. “Who the hell are you and what’s going on?”

The man realized he was addressing him directly. “Wait, you can hear me now?”

“Yeah, I can. What the hell is going on and why did you shove me?”

“Huh, I didn’t think that would work.” He looked at the device in his hand, which was glowing a faint blue. “Well, you better put this on so you don’t slip out.” He said, extending a bracelet he had taken out of his pocket.

“Uh, I don’t mean to be rude, but what the hell is going on?” He demanded.

“Look, I’m not even sure I understand it myself. Just take the bracelet and put it on before you slip out and die.”

He snatched the bracelet and put it on his wrist. “What do you mean ‘slip out and die’?” He demanded again.

“I don’t really know. Look, I didn’t invent it. I’m just trying to keep it from falling into the wrong hands.”

“Whatever. We’re done weirdo.” He turned and marched out of the bathroom. Jenn would be a little annoyed that he hadn’t gone to the bathroom, but that guy was just too weird. He’d just have to go on the plane. As he exited the bathroom, he realized something was incredibly wrong. There were no people in the terminal. None. At LAX. During the holidays. Did the police clear everyone out? What was going on?

“You can’t see them, unless you’re holding this. Even then, they can’t see you. Well, I mean you saw me, but you were the first.”

He spun around. The weirdo was holding out the device. “Put your hand on it and you’ll see what I mean.”

Incredulous, he extended his hand and rested it on the device. It felt like he was thrown sideways, even though he didn’t move. Suddenly, the people around him were visible. They were walking everywhere, just like before he had gone into the bathroom. Jenn was still sitting there, with their stuff, waiting for him. The plane was nearly boarded, he needed to hurry if he didn’t want to miss it. He let go of the device to rush over to her, but the moment he did, they all disappeared again.

“What. The. Fuck.” He turned to the guy again. “Explain, right this second, what’s going on.”

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Porn on Halloween

by Jason Stotts

What kind of porn do people look for around Halloween? According to PornHub, people’s taste in porn goes along with the season:

(Source: PornHub)

They’ve got a lot more data for those who want to find out the details, so check it out.

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