by Jason Stotts
It is today a common assumption that true romantic love requires exclusivity. Many different people, including Ayn Rand and Aristotle, argue that by having multiple lovers one would run into one of three major problems:
1. One would dilute one’s love such that no love that one had could be considered true love (lack of time, attention, and affection)
2. One would judge one love to be better than the other and consequently have no reason to maintain the inferior relationship.
3. One’s lovers would become jealous of each other and destroy the stability of the relationship.
These three problems are obviously very serious and running afoul of them would certainly spell the end of at least one relationship or may even preclude the possibility of love. Yet, what if one could successfully navigate these problems? Would the resultant opportunity for having multiple partners be worth the risk?
Ultimately, I seek to answer the question of whether the exclusivity of monogamy is the ideal for a relationship because of some aspect of the nature or love or whether it maintains its position of respect solely through an appeal to tradition. But I need your help! I need references (if they exist) for people who advocate (with clear reasons) having multiple partners or open relationships. I also welcome other objections, besides the above three, for major problems with having multiple lovers at the same time. Given that I can actually find the information I need, I plan to write an essay on the subject soon.