by Jason Stotts
I was talking with someone the other day and they pointed out that while I had an essay on pegging, I did not have an essay on male orgasm or prostate play itself and few people are likely to jump right into pegging. This seems like a fair criticism to me and so I’m hoping to rectify that here.
I want to begin with a short anatomy lesson. Even though most men are well acquainted with their penises, most know nothing more about them than how to use them to get sexual pleasure. Many men don’t even know the real names for all of their sexual parts: taint, sack, etc.
Although it’s sometimes called “the love muscle,” the penis is in fact not a muscle at all. Although an erection is called getting a “boner,” there are no bones in the penis (in humans). The penis is more properly thought of as analogous to a balloon, since what causes its rigidity is pooled blood, trapped in the penis by muscles at the base, in two cavernous bodies (corpora cavernosa) on each side of the penis. The urethra runs along the bottom, which carries both urine and semen from the body. Let’s take a look at diagram 1.
We also have the shaft, the area between the body and the head, and the head of the penis itself, which is also called the glans. Around the glans is a ridge, called the coronal ridge. At the bottom of the glans is the urethral opening, below which is the frenulum, which is a thin strip of skin connecting the glans to the shaft and foreskin (on unmutilated penises). See diagram 2, A.
In addition to the penis are the testicles, which hang below the penis in the scrotum. The testicles produce sperm, which are carried from the testicles to the seminal vesicles by the vas. The seminal vesicles produce most of the fluid we think of as semen. From here, the sperm move into the prostate itself, which produces prostatic fluid and adds the rest of the fluid to the semen. While this description is somewhat simplified, it’s sufficient for our purposes here. Take a look at this diagram for a clearer view of the path that semen has to travel.
When a male becomes sexually aroused, he experiences tumescence of his sexual organs, which swell and fill with blood in anticipation of sexual activity. During this process, the penis hardens, the skin in the genital region darkens, blood flow in increased in the entire region, and the prostate becomes engorged. The prostate sits around the urethra and immediately below the bladder. Another of the functions of the prostate is to close off the urethra from the bladder, preventing the flow of urine when a male is sexually aroused (note here that erection and arousal are not the same).
Through the above, we should have a basic grasp of male anatomy.
In terms of the male orgasm, the focus is usually the penis. Typically, stimulation is applied to the penis through the application of a hand, mouth, vagina, anus, etc. and continued stimulation leads to orgasm. This is certainly how most men think of their orgasms and it is not entirely wrong to do so. However, although the focus of the orgasm is the penis, that is not the locus of male orgasm. When a male is building to orgasm, he feels a mounting pressure deep inside his abdomen that feels more and more pleasurable until he reaches orgasm. At this point he feels intense pleasure from this deep place, throughout his penis, and a warm sensation in his abdomen in general as the blood that was pools slowly makes it’s way back into his bloodstream. This magic place deep in his abdomen where he feels the mounting pressure and pleasure of orgasm is the prostate and it is here that is the focus of male orgasm. Thus, while the penis is generally the focus of male orgasm, it is the prostate that is its locus.
We can see this more clearly if we consider that if we apply stimulation to the prostate gland itself, a male can orgasm without any stimulation of the penis. On the other hand, if we were to remove a man’s prostate, then he would be unable to orgasm ever again, even if we stimulate his penis. The prostate is the unsung hero of male orgasm. This is not to say that the penis is not important, but that the spotlight should be shared.
While most people don’t ever stimulate the prostate itself, it is actually very easy to stimulate the prostate through the anus, since the prostate sits against the anterior (front) wall of the anus. One can easily stimulate the prostate by inserting a finger or fingers into the anus and making a beckoning, come here, motion (gloves may make this easier). Alternatively, there are many toys designed to stimulate the prostate, like the aneros. For many men, direct stimulate of the prostate, with or without penile stimulation, causes much stronger orgasms than orgasms achieved via penile stimulation alone.
It’s interesting, though, that many men are afraid to even consider prostate stimulation, because they see it as a “gay thing,” since it involves their anus, and they’re afraid that by engaging in prostate stimulation, they might be making themselves gay. This is, of course, preposterous; one cannot catch the gay. Further, there is nothing explicitly gay about prostate play. The prostate is vital to all male orgasm and prostate stimulation is a uniquely male activity, whether gay or straight. Indeed, the argument that a man who stimulates his own anus is gay, since gays play with their asses, is as sensical as the argument that a man who stimulates his own penis is gay, since gays touch penises. We need to move beyond our fear of homosexuality and recognize that both straight men and bisexual men also enjoy anal stimulation and prostate stimulation and this does nothing to affect their orientation. Additionally, there is nothing wrong with being gay. The point, however, is that prostate stimulation is a uniquely male activity, no matter his orientation.
If men could get over their fear of their anuses and engage in prostate stimulation, they could open up a whole new world of pleasure for themselves, the likes of which they have never experienced before.
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Big Brother Note: if you purchase the aneros via the Amazon link, I will make some small amount of money. Thus, if you want to get the aneros, use the link and help me out at the same time.
Comments
8 responses to “On Male Orgasm and Prostate Play”
This is a really good article. I appreciate that it focuses alot on the anatomy and phisiological aspect of the orgasm, and not just “stroke his cock fast with 2 hands” like alot of male orgasm articles. I think it’s very important to understand the anatomy of a male in order to create a good orgasm.
I would be interested to find out about specificly what goes on inside the male right before and while he orgasms. How long does it take for the sperm to get from the testicals to the opening of the urethra once arousal begins? Does it graduately move from the testicals at different stages of arousal? or does the sperm shoot from the testicals to the urethra opening right at the moment he “peaks” ? also.. when is the most effective time to stimulate the prostate? before during or at the late “almost there” stages of arousal? and.. can you stimulate it adiquitely from the prenium?
If you can send me an email or post the answers here I would really appreciate it! Thanks Jason!
Jacqueline,
First, thank you. I also think that understanding anatomy really helps one to understand what’s going on and how to maximize whatever it is that you’re doing.
Unfortunately, I don’t have any information about exactly when semen is produced. I can, however, give you some information that will help you understand how it works. The testes produce sperm constantly and store it up so that there is always some ready (this is why they’re housed outside the body, to keep the sperm relatively cooler). However, the sperm actually make up a very small percent of what we know as ejaculate. Roughly 2/3 of ejaculate is produced in the seminal vesicles and the other roughly 1/3 is produced by the prostate itself. While there are other minor glands involved, these three are the most important. If you think about the location of these organs, you’ll see that nearly all of the ejaculate is produced right around the prostate (where it enters the urethra) and the travel distance is negligible. The prostate actually swells and holds the ejaculate which comes out at the moment of orgasm (through muscular contraction). Although I don’t know for sure, I would imagine as a man gets excited, the sperm makes its way up into the prostate to be ready.
In terms of stimulating the prostate, you can begin this at any stage of arousal. Although, if a man is new to prostate stimulation, you would want him to be aroused before you start so that he will be more receptive to it. While it is most certainly possible to stimulate the prostate through the perineum, it’s not a very direct way to stimulate it. I know that none of the above diagrams show it, but you’ll be trying to stimulate the prostate through a number of different pelvic floor muscles (like the pubococcygeal) and through the base of the penis itself (remember the penis actually goes into the body a little ways where it is anchored, it is not just the external part you can see. The problem with this kind of external stimulation is that it is not very direct and you won’t be able to feel his prostate well at all, you’ll be pushing his muscles into his prostate, not touching his prostate itself.
The ideal way to stimulate the prostate is through the anus. Now, many men won’t be open to this right away and will likely balk due to concerns about being gay or hygiene. The first concern is absolutely unfounded and the second can be mediated by a little soap in the shower and a good diet. Either way, there is usually no fecal matter stored in the rectum itself (the area right inside the anal sphincter).
In terms of when to stimulate the prostate, it’s completely up to you and your partner. I would try different ways to see what works for him. If you’re doing it internally, you’ll actually be able to feel his prostate swell as he gets close to orgasm and then you’ll be able to feel it contract when he actually does orgasm. I personally think right before he orgasms would be a really bad time to start internal stimulation, since that will take a second to get set up. If you’re doing external stimulation, it would probably be fine though.
If you do decide you want to work up to internal prostate stimulation, here’s a couple of ideas that might help. First, start slowly! Begin by just slowly rubbing the outside of his anus for a couple of sessions with no penetration. Second, use lube! Use more than you think you need and make sure to reapply. I suggest using latex gloves to make it less messy and to protect his anus from your nails. Third, even after you start penetrating his anus with a finger, you should still go slowly and maybe wait a couple of times before you actually stimulate his prostate so that he has a chance to get used to anal stimulation (which most people really like, if they can get past some mental barriers. If you’re going to go this route, and I recommend you do for prostate stimulation, get Dr. Jack Morin’s “Anal Pleasure and Health.”
If you have any more questions, feel free to ask them
~Jason
[…] the original “On Male Orgasm and Prostate Play,” a reader asked the following question: This is a really good article. I appreciate that it […]
I’m writing homo erotica of both FxF and MxM. Since I am a homosexual female I have experience in the female to female act but I know very little of the male on male. I have some experience giving a bj but that is all I have in regards to the male organ. Now here is my question. What exactly does a man feel and maybe even think when he orgasms? I have read many a fics that have pleasure spiking up the spine, is that true? Just a little advice to help better my writing!
Great information, although you are wrong a guy won’t ever have an orgasm again after removing his prostate, He will not have an ejaculation, for sure, but he still can and does have orgasm. Ejaculation and orgasm are two different things.
I have taught men about this for over 20 years so please let the men out there who have prostate issue understand that they can still experience immense pleasure again, and sometimes even more than before..
You do not have to wait to have a prostate problem to learn how to advance your pleasure.
with all do respect, you seem like a very smart man, but circumcised penis is not mutilated. sodomy is anal rape, and calling people bent over bf, is plain silly…am i a bent over gf then, for enjoying sex with my husband?
other than that, i really enjoy your texts, thank you so much for putting them out there.
you are a genius of some sort, i’m sure…
[…] On Male Orgasm and Prostate Play […]
Eve, cut off your clitoral hood for no reason, wait for your clit to rub against your clothing for 30 years, keratinizes, looses 60% of its sensitivity and then ask yourself if you were mutilated…circumsicion is a crime.