by Jason Stotts
Here’s an interesting question submitted by a reader recently:
Can you base a decision on marriage without sexual attraction and only because you like the persons values and character and for the things he has done for you? Would this marriage last ?
I think the answer is obvious: sure, you could, but the marriage would be doomed from the start. The person you’re describing is a really good friend. A necessary part of marriage is sexual attraction and your sexual relationship. Without these things, you’re only really close friends.
Of course, there is such a thing as a “companionate marriage,” where two people cohabitate, share resources, maybe even have children, but who either don’t love each other or who aren’t sexually attracted to each other. This can be a fine choice in certain circumstances, but it’s not an ideal marriage.
If we’re talking about normal cases here, then I think deciding to marry someone you’re not attracted to is a terrible idea.