Sex Tips #9: It’s Only Kinky the First Time

by Jason Stotts

I think one major thing that a lot of people need to get past in order to make their sex lives better is the idea that kinky is the same as being bad or immoral.    It is not necessarily these things at all.  A “kinky” sex act is one that is just not very common.  It is something different than missionary sex and, therefore, it is “weird” or “unusual.”  But, some of the best things in life aren’t “usual” and who really wants their sex life to be mundane?

What sex acts you consider kinky really depends on your sexual repertoire, your past experience, and the society you live in.  In some society’s oral sex is very kinky (in others it is even forbidden or taboo).  For some people fisting is very kinky, for others it’s just something they do.  Generally, we tend to think of things as kinky when we’ve never done them before and when they’re outside of our general sexual boundaries.

I think that we need to be open to trying new things, even if they do seem kinky at first. After all, there are many things about which we were apprehensive before we tried them the first time and while some of these things we won’t end up liking, some of these things will end up being our favorite things we do.  Just because something is kinky isn’t a reason not to try it.  After all, things are only kinky the first time.  After that, it’s something just something that you’ve done before and maybe you liked it and maybe you didn’t.  But, there’s no way to know for sure until you try it.


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