by Jason Stotts
Some people think that Valentine’s Day is not a real holiday; that it is simply a “Hallmark Holiday,” constructed to bring in money for cards. They think that they shouldn’t have to show their love on just one day and as long as their partner knows that they love them throughout the year, that having this one extra day is superfluous. I must admit, that there were times in the past that I, too, thought that Valentine’s Day was unnecessary, but not too long ago changed my mind.
My wife knows I love her. She knows because of how I treat her, because I do things for her, because I help her to achieve her goals, and for a myriad of little reasons. But does this mean I shouldn’t also tell her I love her? No, it doesn’t. Just because sheknows that I love doesn’t mean it’s not valuable to still explicitly tell her so. There is a value in the explicit reaffirmation that saying “I Love you” brings. This can be overdone and I think we’ve all seen the couples that say it so frequently that it loses all meaning. Nevertheless, if you don’t tell your partner that you love them, then that is communicating something as well.
So, you might be thinking, that if I already tell my partner I love her and show this in my actions, why do I need to have a day to focus on this? Putting emphasis on something that is important to you is very valuable. All too often, especially after we have been in relationships for a while, we forget to tell our partners that we love them as much as we do, we let the stress of our jobs and other obligations come between us, and we don’t give our partner and our relationship as much attention as they deserves. Thus, Valentines Day is a way for us to take some time out of our busy schedules and to put that extra emphasis on our partner and our relationship. Valentine’s Day is a time for us to tell our partner how much we value them and show them this as well. In short, it’s a day where we check in on our relationship and make sure that’s it’s going well.
And what do we do once we do this? Then we celebrate! Valentine’s Day is a reaffirmation of our love and relationships and we should celebrate these things because they are very important to life. I firmly believe that love, sex, and relationships are part of what is necessary to live a good life for a person and if we are achieving these things, we should celebrate their value in our lives. Furthermore, we should celebrate our relationships and our shared lives together with our partners.
No matter its origins (and really is an irrational basis in religion somehow better than a constructed holiday to celebrate something important?) Valentine’s Day is a worthwhile holiday and one that should be embraced by rational men and women as it serves to help us to enrich our lives and make them better.
(This essay originally appeared on Erosophia last year and I’m republishing it this year because I like it so much)